Summary
You’ve prepped for the meeting, asked for input, opened the floor for questions… and still, you’re met with silence.
No enthusiasm. No feedback. Just nods, a few polite smiles, and then back to business as usual.
It’s frustrating—and honestly, a little demoralizing. But what if the problem isn’t that your team doesn’t care… but that they don’t feel safe, seen, or connected enough to engage?
Let’s talk about what might really be going on—and how great leaders create environments where teams don’t just participate, they thrive.
1. You Might Be Asking for Feedback, But Are You Inviting It?
Feedback isn’t just a request—it’s a relationship.
According to Dov Seidman in How, the difference between selling and enlisting lies in how you make others feel:
“When you enlist, you invite a relationship in which the product is but one stage today on a journey of innovation tomorrow.”
If your team is disengaged, they may not feel enlisted. They may feel like passengers instead of partners. People contribute more when they feel like their input actually matters—not just in theory, but in practice.
Ask yourself:
- Do I truly act on their input when they share it?
- Do I respond with curiosity, or with defensiveness?
- Do I invite feedback in private, low-pressure settings—or only in big, intimidating meetings?
2. Enthusiasm Isn’t Demanded. It’s Drawn Out.
Teams mirror the emotional energy of their leader. If you’re frustrated, tense, or constantly focused on performance over people, they won’t feel inspired—they’ll feel guarded.
In Leadership and Self-Deception, the authors explain:
“People primarily respond not to what we do but to how we’re being—whether we’re in or out of the box toward them.”
When we see others as objects (“Why can’t they just participate?”), they respond with minimal energy. But when we see them as people—with real needs, pressures, and fears—they begin to open up.
Try this instead:
- Replace judgment with curiosity: “What might be keeping them quiet?”
- Lead with vulnerability: Share your own uncertainties or hopes.
- Celebrate small wins with genuine enthusiasm.
3. Culture Isn’t Created By Rules—It’s Shaped By Hows
Culture is built in micro-moments: how you respond to a risky idea, how you handle disagreement, how you treat silence.
“In a transparent world, everything you do is on the record and stays with you throughout your career.”—Leadership and Self-Deception
Your leadership hows—the little behaviors, tone, timing, reactions—are your real culture builders. If feedback is met with critique or cold dismissal even once, people remember.
To build a culture of contribution:
- Show appreciation every time someone speaks up.
- Ask quieter team members one-on-one what would make it easier to participate.
- Frame feedback not as correction, but as co-creation.
4. Trust Is the Currency of Engagement
Trust doesn’t live in grand speeches. It lives in consistency.
As Seidman writes:
“We tend to trust people who get their hows right—people who are transparent, forthcoming, and honest; who share credit and keep their promises.”
If your team doesn’t feel psychological safety—if they fear being judged, sidelined, or ignored—they won’t risk speaking up. Trust enables risk, which leads to innovation, which fuels progress. That’s the real leadership tripwire: TRIP.
5. Leadership Is an Invitation—Not a Position
The best leaders don’t coerce action. They spark belief.
“Leadership is about inspiration. Leaders inspire, and seek to keep the atmosphere of inspiration—the call to significance—alive in others.”—Leadership and Self-Deception
If your meetings feel flat, ask yourself:
- Am I inspiring anyone?
- Do people feel connected to something bigger than a task list?
- Am I communicating a vision they want to be part of?
Final Thoughts: From Compliance to Contribution
You can’t shame your team into caring. But you can inspire them to rise.
Start by reflecting on your own presence. Show up not as the boss demanding answers—but as the leader inviting connection, creativity, and contribution.
Because when people feel seen, safe, and significant, the silence breaks. The spark returns. And the team becomes more than just a group of individuals—they become something greater than the sum of their parts.
