Summary
I was years into a “good job.” On paper, it looked like success. But I was unraveling—and no one could tell. Because I still delivered. Still led meetings. Still wore the polished, professional version of myself that earned promotions and bonuses.
But behind the performance? I was burned out, invisible to myself, and suffocating inside a system that rewarded numbness over nuance.
Inside the Machine
I learned to speak fluent corporate. To stay calm when the room was on fire. To carry the unspoken emotional labor of a thousand broken systems—and call it leadership.
I knew how to survive. But I forgot how to feel.
Here’s what else I learned:
- Meetings will multiply to fill the space where strategy should be.
- Visibility is often a performance, not a merit badge.
- Burnout is invisible when you’re high-functioning and female.
- Loyalty is expected—but rarely returned.
And maybe most painfully:
You can be excellent at your job—and still be disappearing inside it.
The Breaking Point (Quiet, Not Loud)
There wasn’t a big event. No dramatic “I quit.” Just a slow erosion of my clarity and joy. Until one day, I realized:
I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.
I only knew what I was good at.
And I was tired of selling a version of me that no longer felt true.
So I started building something new. Quietly. Strategically. With zero fanfare—and zero permission.
What I Did Instead
I didn’t burn it all down. I built underneath the burnout.
Here’s how I started escaping the machine:
1.I Reclaimed My Voice
→ Through writing. Privately, at first. Then publicly, on my own terms. Not to “build a brand.” To remember who I was when I wasn’t performing.
2. I Built Micro-Systems for Clarity
→ Weekly resets. Energy audits. Boundary experiments. I couldn’t quit overnight—but I could stop leaking myself every day.
3. I Created a Parallel Identity
→ One aligned with who I was becoming. Not a second job. A second truth. Something I could grow quietly until it was strong enough to stand.
You Don’t Need Permission to Start Leaving
If you’re reading this from your cubicle, your Zoom room, or your corner office—this is for you.
You don’t have to torch your career. You don’t have to explain yourself. You just have to admit this:
The life you’re in no longer fits. And the version of you that stayed silent too long? They’re done.
Final Thought
I didn’t escape the machine with rage. I escaped with clarity. Now I teach other brilliant, burned-out professionals to do the same.
To build systems that protect their energy. To create brands that reflect who they actually are. To lead, write, and build from wholeness—not hustle.
If that’s where you’re headed—good. You’re not behind. You’re just early to your own reinvention.
Welcome to the outside.
