Summary
You’ve just joined a team that’s been around longer than your favorite coffee cup. They know each other. They have inside jokes, old wounds, unspoken rules, and—whether they say it or not—reservations about you.
You’ve been brought in to lead, but here’s the paradox:
If you move too fast, you’ll trigger resistance.
If you move too slow, you’ll seem indecisive.
And if you try to prove yourself too hard, you’ll look insecure.
So how do you earn their trust, lay the groundwork for change, and stay human in the process?
Let’s walk the tightrope together.
1. Start With Belonging, Not Authority
Before you shape the culture, you need to be accepted into it. This doesn’t mean trying to be everyone’s best friend. It means showing respect for what already exists—even if you were hired to change it.
“People don’t fear change. They fear being changed without being seen.”
When you acknowledge the team’s history, validate past efforts, and take time to listen deeply, you become someone they can trust—not just someone with a title.
Practice This:
- In your first 1:1s, ask: “What do you love most about this team?” and “What’s one thing you hope I protect?”
- Attend, observe, and withhold judgment for your first 2–3 weeks.
- Acknowledge legacy wins before proposing new wins.
2. Play the Long Game With Culture Change
Culture is never changed by decree. It’s changed by modeling, momentum, and meaningful conversations. If you try to “fix” the culture without first earning influence, the team will label you as the outsider trying to rewrite the rules of their home.
Instead:
- Identify what’s working in the current culture and amplify it.
- Introduce change by invitation, not mandate.
- Frame every improvement as a path toward shared success, not a correction of past failure.
Try This Reframe:
Instead of saying, “We need to be more accountable.”
Say, “What would it look like to be a team that trusts each other to deliver without micromanaging?”
3. Use Trust as Your Operating System
The fastest way to lose influence is to focus on control. The fastest way to build it? Trust first, structure second.
The team will watch closely:
- Do you keep your word?
- Do you follow through?
- Do you take feedback with grace?
- Do you respect their time, roles, and processes?
Here’s the secret:
Trust isn’t just what they feel about you. It’s what they feel about how they are treated in your presence.
“Do I feel safe, seen, and respected when I speak to you?”
That’s the question they’re asking. Make sure your leadership says yes.
4. Position Yourself as a Guide, Not a Savior
You weren’t hired to rescue them. You were hired to rise with them. The more you treat your team like capable partners on a shared mission—rather than recipients of your genius—the faster your credibility will grow.
Ask more than you tell.
Learn before you lead.
Invite instead of impose.
You’ll still set direction. But you’ll do it in a way that fosters shared ownership and creative buy-in. That’s how you lead without alienating.
5. Build Credibility Through Small Wins—Not Big Speeches
Don’t try to change everything at once. Look for “credibility moments”—small wins that show you’re invested in the team’s success.
This could mean:
- Clearing a long-standing bottleneck
- Advocating for resources they’ve been denied
- Fixing a broken process they’ve quietly suffered through
Each win sends the message: “I’m here with you. I see what you’ve been carrying. And I’ll help us carry it better.”
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Just Joining a Team—You’re Earning a Tribe
You don’t get trusted because you have a great plan. You get trusted because you show up as someone who gets it. Lead with empathy. Navigate with humility. Earn influence before you spend it.
And remember: the best leaders don’t just change what a team does. They change how a team feels about doing it—together.
