Summary
The Moment It Hit Me
I’ve been a marketing director for over 20 years. I’ve fought hard to stay ahead of algorithm changes, trends, leadership shifts—you name it. I’ve built strategies that took years to get right. So when someone in leadership pushed a terrible decision forward—one that would undo years of progress—I should’ve fought back.
I normally would’ve.
But instead? I blinked.
Nodded.
And felt… nothing.
No frustration. No righteous anger. No mental rally cry to prove them wrong.
Just this dull, hollow voice that said:
> “Let them ruin it. I don’t care anymore.”
And that scared the hell out of me.
What Burnout Actually Looks Like
We picture burnout as breaking down, crying in the bathroom, or screaming into the void. But my burnout didn’t look like that.
It looked like not caring about something I used to protect with everything I had anymore.
- Nodding along during meetings I knew were going off the rails.
- Turning off my brain at 5:01 PM because I literally couldn’t think one more thought.
- Resenting every request and question—even the easy ones.
- Waking up more tired than I was before I went to bed.
And worst of all? Feeling like I couldn’t fix any of it.
Why I Didn’t Quit
I know what you’re thinking. If it was that bad, why didn’t I just walk away?
Because burnout makes even leaving feel impossible. You doubt yourself. You worry you’re just being dramatic or overly sensitive. You wonder if you’re too broken to be useful anywhere else.
So instead, you stay. And shrink. And lose yourself in the quiet.
The truth was, I didn’t need a new job—I needed a new relationship with my energy, my boundaries, and my brain. This wasn’t something as simple as taking a week off. I needed a whole damn reset that didn’t depend on external permission.
What I Did Instead
I didn’t book a retreat. I certainly didn’t start journaling for two hours a day. I didn’t even tell anyone how close I was to giving up, not even my husband.
Instead, I gave myself:
- One goal a week. Not a list—just one.
- One action a day. No matter how small.
- One boundary I wouldn’t break—even for my boss.
That became my Rule of One.
And then, on days when I couldn’t even do that, I gave myself a Bare Minimum Day. Eat something. Move my body. Let go of the rest.
And slowly but surely, I came back to life.
Pro Tip: Watch for These Warning Signs
These were the red flags I ignored until it was almost too late:
- “I don’t care anymore” becomes your default setting. (This was the big red flag for me. I always care.)
- Even small wins feel meaningless.
- You stop defending what you believe in.
- Everything that once gave you pride now feels like a burden.
- The idea of making a decision feels exhausting.
What I Want You to Know
You’re not weak, flaky, or lazy. The opposite is true. Plus, you are likely doing the emotional labor of 10 people while trying to hold your life together with a half-charged phone and a cold coffee.
That numbness you feel? That’s not failure.
That’s your system saying: It’s time to rise out of the ashes.
Join the Rise
I built the Phoenix Starter Kit and Toolkit Tuesdays for people like us—high-functioning, burned-out, secretly brilliant folks who need tools that don’t suck up more energy than they give back.
If you’re there—on the edge—start with one goal. Or take a Bare Minimum Day. Then join the list. It’s free. It’s honest. It’s yours.
You don’t need to burn everything down. You just need to stop burning yourself down.
Let’s rise.
—Sterling Phoenix
